1. You have to be against capital punishment, but support abortion on demand.
2. You have to believe that businesses create oppression and governments
create prosperity.
3. You have to believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding citizens are more
of a threat than U.S. nuclear weapons technology in the hands of Iran,
China, and North Korean communists.
4. You have to believe that there was no art before federal funding.
5. You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by cyclical
changes in the earth's climate and more affected by soccer moms
driving SUV's.
6. You have to believe that gender roles are artificial, but being homosexual
is natural.
7. You have to believe that the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of
federal funding.
8. You have to believe that the same teacher who can't teach 4th-graders
how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex.
9. You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature, but PETA
activists do.
10. You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually
doing something to earn it.
11. You have to believe that Mel Gibson spent $25 million of his own money
to make "The Passion of the Christ" for financial gain only.
12. You have to believe the NRA is bad because it supports certain parts of
the Constitution, while the ACLU is good because it supports certain
parts of the Constitution.
13. You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high.
14. You have to believe that Margaret Sanger, Susan Sarandon and Gloria
Steinem are more important to American history than Thomas
Jefferson, General Robert E. Lee, and Thomas Edison.
15. You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas
and set-asides are not.
16. You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked
anywhere it's been tried is because the right people haven't been in
charge.
17. You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag queens
and transvestites should be constitutionally protected, and manger
scenes at Christmas should be illegal.
18. You have to believe that this message is a part of a vast, right-wing
conspiracy.
GOD BLESS AMERICA! Oops, can't do that either!
